Ad infinitum

I'm gonna have to find something else to write about. Having a superior goal deficit to our opposition is something I have become accustomed to in my 10 or 12 games of soccer but it's not going to make for great literature.

Since my last post we have been overrun twice by gangs of old football players. I've served in goal for 2 of the past 4 halves of combat, and whilst I'm not about to put my hand up to play goalie in the full sized version of the game, I have acquitted myself reasonably well in the protected environment of the "6 a side" goal sanctuary.

You see, the goal circle in this form of the game is a bit like Sheriff Bart's Jail Cell in Rock Ridge, a painted line over which none but the goalie may cross. This seemingly minor protection has the amazing effect of stopping a fully (over)grown man from trampling you in his efforts to embarrass. As no such protection is provided to my full size compatriots...they can keep their jobs with my blessing.

Another rule that both helps and hinders is one that prevents players from kicking the ball over head height. Whilst this protects me from long range bombing sorties and their associated aerial acrobatics, it offers no salvation from Barnes Wallis and his mates. The down side of this rule is that I can't grab the ball and pound it as far as possible from my goal, having instead to work it out along the ground to my team mates. This, not surprisingly, is not unlike trying to throw a hot chip across a splintered green table at the beach without 400 seagulls intercepting it. Unfortunately these seagulls, instead of flying off with their booty, take great pleasure in firing it back past you into the net. The screeching afterwards is strikingly familiar.

This week should see a FULL compliment of willing minds take the field (can't speak for the bodies) and that should make a big difference, as last week we ran with only one substitute on the bench. Spreading the work load over 3 or 4 extra respiratory systems makes a huge difference to blokes of our vintage.

Hopefully my next post may return to it's victorious former glory, if not I may have to start talking about future employment prospects. A subject almost as depressing as recent events in Victoria.